Mighty Interview wit' the Mighty Ducks
by Sunlight-Spider Monkey
Summary: I guess the title says it all... please R&R... please note, your flames will only be used to burn cue cards... FINALLY UPDATED!
1. Interview 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Mighty Ducks. I don't own anything.  
  
Announcer/ Co-Host/ Cameraman., lady…person/ NAKA! : Hello and welcome to, Whatevertheheckthisshowis. And here's your host, Casey!  
  
cricket cricket  
  
Casey: Thank you, Thank you. Today we are going to interview The Ducks.  
  
Naka: Otter-pops for everyone!  
  
Casey: [glares at Naka] anyway… First we shall interview Charlie.  
  
Charlie walks in. Naka falls asleep.  
  
Casey: Hello there, Charlie. How are you today?  
  
Charlie: I'm okay… have you seen Adam?  
  
Casey: Yes I have, He looks like a nice looking guy.  
  
Charlie looks at her confused.  
  
Casey: May I ask you some questions?  
  
Charlie: Alright…  
  
Casey: Good Good. Okay, first question. Which one of the people on your team is most likely gay?  
  
Charlie: My Adam!  
  
Casey: really, and why do you say that?  
  
Charlie: um… no reason….  
  
Casey: Okay, next question. What is your whole name?  
  
Charlie: Charlie Dalton Conway.  
  
Casey: Really? Is it?  
  
Charlie nods.  
  
Casey: [laughs] alright. New question. What do you say about rabid monkeys biting Orli's eyes out, while he eats chocolate frogs?  
  
Charlie: Sure, but only if I get the rest of the chocolate frogs once he's blinded.  
  
Naka: [wakes up] Huh? Orli?? As in Orlando Bloom?? The really hot guy from Pirates of the Caribbean?  
  
Casey: Go back to sleep you good for nothing idiot!  
  
Naka: [walks up to some random person in the audience (who happens to be the only person in the audience) ] You can be cameraperson right now, I have to be co-host. [walks back onto the stage sits down stares at Charlie with hand on chin] So, how long have you and Adam been together?  
  
Casey: Naka!!!  
  
Naka: In the words of Dean Portman—  
  
Casey: Portman!!  
  
Naka: What! It's a good question.  
  
Charlie: well, you see, it's been like, what two—  
  
Casey: You don't need to answer that you know!  
  
Charlie: years…  
  
Naka walks off.  
  
Casey: Where are you going!  
  
Naka: To make a cake.  
  
Casey: whatever, So… Is it enjoyable to eat cheese on the moon?  
  
Charlie: Depends on the type of cheese…  
  
Casey: [sweat drop] What's your favorite kind of cheese?  
  
Charlie: Um… depend, what kind does Adam like?  
  
Casey: I haven't interviewed Adam yet…  
  
Charlie: oh…  
  
Casey: our next question will be from my co-co-host Rannoch, go ahead Rannoch.  
  
Naka: [from kitchen] MY OVEN'S PREHEATED!  
  
Rannoch: Is it enjoyable to eat cheese on the moon?  
  
Casey: We already asked him that!  
  
Rannoch: Oh… right… I forgot… [smirks evilly]  
  
Casey: Ask him another question!  
  
Rannoch: um ok… Would you say that Spot Conlon has a thing for you?  
  
Charlie: Whose Spot Conlon?  
  
Casey: Whose asking the questions?!  
  
Charlie: Your Spot Conlon!!  
  
Rannoch: She is?!  
  
Casey: I AM!?  
  
Rannoch: …lies… all lies…[Smacks Charlie]  
  
Casey: Rannoch leave! You are not to hit my guests! You can come back when I tell you you can!  
  
Rannoch: fine.  
  
Casey: Why don't you take Her with you [points to Charlie]  
  
Rannoch: [smiles] can we play dress up?  
  
Casey: Um… sure…  
  
Rannoch: [grabs Charlie] YAY!  
  
Casey: Okay, she just took our guest so, lets get someone else.  
  
Naka: [from kitchen] Dwayne?  
  
Casey: If you insist.  
  
Naka: I don't insist. I think we should just do Dwayne, or Adam [evil grin that no one can see cause she's in the kitchen]  
  
Casey: Alright then, Everyone welcome Dwayne to the show! [the one person claps]  
  
Dwayne walks in.  
  
Casey: Hello Dwennie.  
  
Naka: [still from kitchen] IT'S DWAYNE!  
  
Casey: yes. Whatever. So DWAYNE, What's your full name?  
  
Dwayne: Dwayne Robertson  
  
Casey: Is that it?  
  
Dwayne: Ya…  
  
Casey: Who would name their kid Dwayne?  
  
Dwayne: My parents….  
  
Casey: Oh... that's right your names Dwayne. Sorry man, that must really suck…  
  
Dwayne: It could be worse my name could be Dean.  
  
Casey: Okay, who on your team is most likely gay? Wait did you say Dean!!!  
  
Dwayne: um… no…  
  
Casey: okay… Who on your team is most likely gay? [Beeper starts going off in kitchen]  
  
Dwayne: [moves uncomfortably thinking kitchen is on fire] I say Adam.  
  
Casey: Good answer Good answer.  
  
Rannoch: [runs in] I smell chocolate cake!  
  
Casey: Where's Charlie?  
  
Rannoch: um… You don't want to know.  
  
Dwayne: I want cake, it's my birthday and I haven't had any yet, because I was locked inside of a closet.  
  
Casey: It's not a closet it's a dressing room!  
  
Rannoch: No… it's a—  
  
Casey: Rannoch!!  
  
Dwayne: But there were brooms in it.  
  
Casey: We have… um… Naka… Where are you Naka??  
  
Naka: [walks out of the kitchen with a German chocolate cake, singing] Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Dear DWAYNE! Happy Birthday to you. [gives Dwayne his cake] Blow out the candles.  
  
Dwayne: Alright [blows out the candles]  
  
Naka: [looks around] where's Charlie?  
  
Rannoch: [shifts eyes and fidgets]  
  
Naka: Rannoch what did you do to Charlie?  
  
Dwayne: [eats cake] This cake is good.  
  
Rannoch: I erm ... [blinks] [twitches]  
  
Naka: [hits Rannoch with newspaper that came out of no where] Bad Dog!  
  
Casey: I haven't said anything for a few lines...  
  
Rannoch: Well ... we could all benefit from Casey's silence ... please continue with it...  
  
Naka: I second that one… Where's my camera?  
  
Dwayne: [still eating the cake] I didn't know you had a camera…  
  
Naka: of course I have a camera... I'm the Announcer/ Co-Host/ Cameraman., lady…person/ NAKA!  
  
Casey: … /cook  
  
Rannoch: … /Loser  
  
Naka: [turns to Dwayne] Can I borrow your lasso?  
  
Dwayne nodds.  
  
Naka: Thank you [catches Rannoch with it, ties her to a chair, then shoves her inside of the 'dressing room']  
  
Rannoch: [screams]  
  
Casey: [grabs the cake from Dwayne] We share in this studio!  
  
Naka: [grabs cake, gives it back to Dwayne, ties Casey up and sends her to visit Rannoch.]  
  
Dwayne: Thank you.  
  
Naka: [sits down in Casey's chair] Let's see… [looks at the cue cards that Casey left on the table] Do you like to eat cheese on the moon? What the (insert word here) kind of questions are these?  
  
Dwayne: Stupid ones.  
  
Rannoch: [all muffled] they're ... not... stupid..  
  
Naka: I tend to agree. So, who on your team do you think is the cutest couple?  
  
Dwayne: Um…Adam and Charlie…but no one is supposed to know about them…so I say Guy and Connie.  
  
Naka: Good answer, Good answer…wait…who wrote these cue cards?? Whoever did is so fired!  
  
Dwayne: Are you allowed to do that?  
  
Naka: I can do whatever I want…I'm Naka.  
  
Dwayne: So…um…what's this show called again?  
  
Naka: It doesn't really have a name…because Casey is supposedly the person on charge-  
  
Casey: [all muffled] I AM IN CHARGE!  
  
Naka: yet I do more work then she does…so I just call it Whatevertheheckthisshowis.  
  
Dwayne: Nice name for a show like this…I guess.  
  
Naka: Thank you…do you think we should save Charlie?  
  
Dwayne: No. Naka: We now will turn the time over to our announcer for commercial break, Wait I'm the announcer! But I want to talk to Dwayne!!! 


	2. Interview 2

Dwayne: Um… Naka says I'm the new announcer for this chapter… Ya'll welcome back to Whatevertheheckthisshowis!  
  
Naka: Good job [pats Dwayne on the back]  
  
Casey: Rannoch and me are back! My Portman saved us [smiles]  
  
Rannoch: I'm so sorry ... I erm, put Charlie into a potato sack.... YES.... and erm, Adam somehow ... made his way into it as well [looks all cute and innocent]  
  
Dwayne: Didn't Adam get you guys out of the closet?  
  
Casey: Dressing room! And no he didn't!  
  
Dwayne: You guys sure like lyin'  
  
Naka: Not lyin' just improving the truth a little.  
  
Dwayne: But in the case of your dressing room, it's a lot.  
  
Casey: Wait a minute... where are my cue cards?  
  
Naka: [lying] You never had cue cards remember.  
  
Dwayne: yes she d—[Naka puts her hand over his mouth]  
  
Rannoch: they're in the dustbin.  
  
Casey: [glares]  
  
Naka: No, I set them on fire remember the fiery barrel…  
  
Dwayne: Ya that was cool.  
  
Casey: I'd imagine it kinda got…  
  
Dwayne: We cooked marshmallows over them…  
  
Naka: Dwayne! Your not supposed to tell them that!  
  
Rannoch: Marshmallows? I want Marshmallows!  
  
Casey: Can we introduce our next guest yet?  
  
Naka: according to the schedule… the next guest is Adam Banks.  
  
Rannoch: [smirks] He's a little tied up at the moment…  
  
Casey: Alright, we are doing Guy Germain next.  
  
Naka: What kind of name is that?  
  
Portman: [walking in] 'Guy'kie one  
  
Casey: OH MY GOSH! DEAN PORTMAN! [runs over to him]  
  
Dwayne: Portman! Run!  
  
Rannoch: He's mine.  
  
Casey: Who?  
  
Rannoch: Who ever that guy is..  
  
Casey: Guy?  
  
Rannoch: No…  
  
Casey: Dean?  
  
Rannoch: No…  
  
Casey: Portman…  
  
Rannoch: maybe…  
  
Casey: Dean Portman…. [glares]  
  
Rannoch: maybe…  
  
Casey: [runs over and beats up Rannoch]  
  
Rannoch: [bites Casey, hard]  
  
Naka: [hits Portman over the head] Look what you started!  
  
Portman: [leaving] whatever…  
  
Casey: [notices Portman leaving, over Rannoch biting her leg, and runs after him] Come back Dean Portman!!!  
  
Rannoch: [yelps and runs after him aswell, and clings to his leg]  
  
Casey: [from other room] Get off of him, Rannoch! He's mine!!  
  
Naka: I guess I'm in charge again… So, our first guest for this chapter is Guy Germain…  
  
Rannoch: [from other room] HE'S MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! FRIGGER!  
  
Naka: Dwayne…will you be a doll and lasso them and put them back in the 'Dressing Room'?  
  
Casey: [from other room] LEAVE MY BOY ALONE RANNOCH!!  
  
Rannoch: [from other room] NEVERRRRRRRRR!! And who said he was YOUR boy? [Punches Casey]  
  
Dwayne: My pleasure. [Goes into other room with the lasso.]  
  
Guy walks out.  
  
Naka: Welcome to our insanity…sorry but you might be driven crazy.  
  
Casey: [screams from other room] SHE BIT ME!  
  
Guy: You don't say.  
  
Rannoch: [runs in] MWAHAHAH! [Sits on Guy]  
  
Casey: [walks in holding onto Portman's arm] Don't leave me.  
  
Naka: [sigh] Rannoch, he has a girlfriend…Casey… leave future guests alone…and where'd Dwayne go?  
  
Dwayne: [from other room] I swear this is a broom closet!  
  
Casey: Thank you Portman.  
  
Portman: Um…will you leave me alone now?  
  
Casey: [nods] Only until the next chapter.  
  
Portman: [Runs away faster than Luis can skate]  
  
Naka: [shakes head and sighs again] So, Guy…how long have you been with Connie?  
  
Rannoch: [jumps off of him]  
  
Guy: About…well…since I've liked girls.  
  
Rannoch: [pukes]  
  
Naka: I think it's kinda cute.  
  
Casey: [hits Rannoch in the face] He means since he was old enough. I forgot to ask, what's your full name?  
  
Guy: Guy Germain.  
  
Naka: I knew that…and CASEY wouldn't have to ask everyone if she knew how to read Newspapers.  
  
Rannoch: …  
  
Casey: I did read the Newspaper… right where it said 'Dean Portman'!  
  
Naka: So, Guy, Do you and Connie ever go on double dates with Charlie and Adam?  
  
Guy: [starts nodding]  
  
Casey: you don't have to answer that! Naka, why don't you go save that one dude or somethin'?  
  
Naka: [sigh] ya, and I probably should get Charlie and Adam out of the same sack… that's kinda nasty…  
  
Casey: Naka!  
  
Rannoch: ...Leave them in there...  
  
Casey: No, Rannoch, I think their enjoying it to much… Naka… why don't you put them in separate sacks [smiles]  
  
Naka: That's a good idea…  
  
Naka leaves.  
  
Casey: So Rannoch… how's your life treating you?  
  
Rannoch: [sighs] Badly. I still haven't got had the pleasure of eating cheese on the moon.  
  
Casey: I'm very sorry...  
  
Rannoch: As you should be.  
  
Casey: Why, it isn't my fault! …Is it?  
  
Guy: Did you guys forget about me?!  
  
Casey: Did you say something Rannoch??  
  
Guy: I think she's dead...  
  
Casey: Rannoch are you dead?  
  
Casey: [walks over to Rannoch] Portman's stripping again!  
  
Rannoch: [wakes up] OMG OMG WHERE!!  
  
Casey: [hits her over the head] You idiot! Portman's mine!  
  
Guy: Forget you guys… I'm leaving…  
  
Guy leaves.  
  
Casey: I knew if we ignored him long enough he'd leave… now lets get Portman back here… wait... I forgot... I promised him not to bother him til the next chapter... Lets get... Luis... the other hot guy on the team....  
  
Luis walks in.  
  
Casey: Hello Luis…  
  
Luis: er… hi…  
  
Casey: Can you tell me your name?  
  
Luis: Um… no… I'm not aloud to give my name to freaky people like you…  
  
Casey: People like me!!!  
  
Luis: Yes…  
  
Casey: You should be nice to people with rabies…  
  
Luis: You have rabies?  
  
Casey: How dare you assume I have rabies? Do you think I'm ugly and foam at the mouth!!  
  
Luis: err….  
  
Casey: [runs off crying]  
  
Rannoch: [Looks at Luis] your Purdy.  
  
Luis: [smiles] My names Luis Mendoza…  
  
Rannoch: My names Rannoch… just Rannoch…  
  
Luis: Pretty name for a pretty girl.  
  
Rannoch: [gasp] it's not a pretty name… your calling me ugly!! [runs off crying]  
  
Luis: err…  
  
Dwayne who is no longer tied up and placed in a closet comes in.  
  
Dwayne: Hello Luis.  
  
Luis: Hey Cowboy…  
  
Dwayne: Where is everyone?  
  
Luis: err…  
  
Dwayne: I am now the co-co-co-Host….  
  
Rannoch: [from other room, still crying] you are?  
  
Dwayne: Yes, I will ask the questions…. So… Which one of the people on our team is most likely gay??  
  
Luis: [nods] Banks [nods]  
  
Dwayne: that's what I said too… So, Do you run into walls often??  
  
Luis: [looks back and forth] maybe… who told you that!!  
  
Dwayne: I'm on your team…  
  
Luis: oh ya…  
  
Naka: [walks back in carrying two sacks] Hey Luis, where is everyone?  
  
Dwayne and Luis: …  
  
Naka: Don't tell me…you made them cry.  
  
Luis: [nods]  
  
Dwayne: Wait a minute…they can cry?  
  
Naka: [drops the two sacks] Why is it that they ALWAYS leave before the end of the second interview?  
  
Dwayne: No clue.  
  
Luis: They couldn't stand being in the presence of someone as beautiful as I am.  
  
Casey: [from another room] I FOUND PORTMAN!!  
  
Rannoch: [walks back out] What was I crying about?  
  
Luis, Dwayne, and Naka: [sigh] no one knows.  
  
Luis: Actually…I do.  
  
Rannoch: Tell.  
  
Luis: Um…will you marry me?  
  
Rannoch: [blushes] Your purdy…  
  
Luis: [smiles] I know…  
  
Casey: [from other room] Where are you going, Dean!!  
  
Portman: [walking in] Save me…  
  
Rannoch: No…  
  
Casey: [walking in] I'm sorry Portman, I'll leave you alone now…  
  
Portman: Really?  
  
Casey: Really what?  
  
Portman: you'll leave me alone?  
  
Casey: Over my dead body!!  
  
Naka: that can be arranged…  
  
Casey: [glaring at Naka] I love you Portman…  
  
Rannoch: I love you Luis…  
  
Casey: EWW… you like Luis… That's sick…  
  
Rannoch: not as sick as you liking Dean…  
  
Casey: If I remember right you said you liked him too!!  
  
Rannoch: I'd never do a think like that…  
  
Portman: [to Naka] I'm leaving….  
  
Naka: Ok…  
  
Casey: You would and you did!!  
  
Dwayne: [over them screaming at each other] now a word from our sponsors. [smiles big] 


	3. Interview 3

(A/N: Sorry it took so long guys. My computer messed up for a while, then I started writing Newsies instead. I totally forgot about this story until today. SO without Further ado, Whateverthheckthisshowis!)  
  
Dwayne: Geez ya'll that must have been the longest commercial break EVER. Wouldn't ya say?  
  
Naka: Yes, Dwayne, I would say so. NO GET ON WITH THE (insert word here) WELCOMING BACK!  
  
Dwayne: Yes ma'am, Hello and welcome back to Whatevertheheckthisshowis! ...and here's our host...Casey...  
  
*Cricketcricket*  
  
Casey: Thanks a lot. geez. So, today our first guest is D-  
  
Rannoch: (walking in) Hey Casey!  
  
Casey: Rannoch where have you been!  
  
Rannoch: I left after the first week of commercials...  
  
Casey: oh. that would have been a good idea. As I was saying, today's guest is! De-  
  
Rannoch: Where's Luis.  
  
Naka: (Evil grin) That's for me and Dwayne to know, and you never to find out!  
  
Rannoch: (starts to cry) I miss him...  
  
Casey: Well, go miss him in the other room! I'm trying to run a show here!  
  
Rannoch: Alright...  
  
Rannoch leaves room.  
  
Casey: So, anyways, as I was saying. Our next guest is Dea-  
  
Rannoch: (from other room) OH MY GOSH! NAKA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY LUIS!  
  
Naka: (very calmly) I didn't do anything, Rannoch, what do you mean?  
  
Casey: (very angry) CAN'T I INTRODUCE MY PORTMAN WITHOUT YOU PEOPLE INTERUPTING ME!?  
  
Rannoch walks in carrying Luis who is tied up with a dress on.  
  
Rannoch: I found him...  
  
Naka: (shakes head) No, Casey, we are trying to make this interview last longer...  
  
Casey: (gives her the death glare) Can't you do that at the end of the interview?  
  
Dwayne: Sure, but then it wouldn't irritate you as much.  
  
Casey: (turns glare to Dwayne) ...Shut up!...  
  
Naka: Don't tell my Dwayne to shut up!  
  
Casey: (rather quickly) PLEASEWELCOMEDEANPORTMANTOTHESHOW!  
  
Portman walks in, one, and only, person in audience claps.  
  
Casey: (in a love shock voice) Hello Portman.  
  
Portman: Dang, I hoped they would forget about this show... I mean hey.  
  
Casey: We're going to ask you some questions alright?  
  
Portman: ok...  
  
Rannoch: Do you enjoy eating cheese on the moon?  
  
Portman: ...er... I don't eat cheese...  
  
Rannoch: Not even on the moon?  
  
Portman: no... not even on the moon...  
  
Casey: (now grabbing onto Portman's arm) I made you cookies during the break... want some?  
  
Portman: sure?  
  
Casey: (grabs a plate of cookies from under her chair and hands them to him.) there chocolate chip.  
  
Portman: um... thanks...  
  
Naka: So? How long have you been, you know, playing hockey?  
  
Portman: (mouth full of cookies) as long as I can remember...  
  
Naka: I see...  
  
Rannoch: Who on you team is most likely gay?  
  
Portman: Fulton, I've seen him staring at me in the dressing room.  
  
Casey: Who wouldn't stare at you?  
  
Naka: (hitting Casey over the head) your scaring your own guests!  
  
Casey: (taking her seat) sorry...  
  
Rannoch: Hey, are Adam and Charlie still in them bags?  
  
Naka: (nods)  
  
Rannoch: Can I kick 'em?  
  
Naka: (nods)  
  
Rannoch: YAHOO! (starts kicking the bags)  
  
Adam: OUCH!  
  
Charlie: OWIES!  
  
Casey: HAHA!  
  
Portman: um... can I go? I er... have... homework to do...  
  
Casey: Must you go and do your homework?  
  
Portman nods as he leaves.  
  
Casey: (sighs) our next guest is...  
  
Rannoch: Luis!  
  
Casey: we already interviewed her!  
  
Rannoch: Luis is a him!  
  
Casey: Whatever.  
  
Naka: Casey... did you get new cue cards?  
  
Casey: (nods)  
  
Naka: can I see them?  
  
Casey: (nods and hands them to her)  
  
Naka: (With match lights them on fire) hehehe...  
  
Casey: Hey! Now we have to wait longer til someone writes me new cue cards!  
  
Dwayne: YE-HA! Now we have to wait... lets see some more of them commercials!  
  
* * *  
  
A/N: That was weird... but anyways. I do need questions for the guests. So until I can thing of more you'll have to wait... or you can review and give some ideas for questions.  
  
Love ya lots, Chip 


End file.
